Surely you are a Top Writer in “Dreck” —heck, Slackjaw even has an entire tab for it (I’m certain you did that without anyone’s permission, thinking no one would notice and you could pass it off later very George Costanza-cleaning lady-like “Should I not have done that?” or in a don’t ask for permission/just for beg for forgiveness way.)

I love your “Some of my best friends are…” nod.

Perhaps you should point out to Medium that you are in fact wearing a Tophat which in itself deserves Top status.

Let me know when the protest begins.