I had bookmarked this when it popped up in my notifications because I knew I wanted to read it, but it sounded like I would need the time and emotional capacity to sit with it. Glad I waited.
This may not be the response you need, but your recollections were beautiful and heart-wrenching at the same time. Thanks for letting us share in your pain and loss. Knowing others feel/have felt the same way makes it more bearable, if only slightly.