I get it, you guys. I got it a while ago. I know.
Yes, I have a face that’s adorable in that weirdly almost-ugly way. I’m not going to knock you for loving it. I mean, I’m happy just to have a good home and someone who feeds me.
Even if… you maybe don’t treat me with the kind of respect I thought you might have grown into by now. I’m okay, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may’ve been an impulse purchase. Or some kind of veiled attempt to fill the hole in your life left when that someone who is not-to-be-named decided they wanted more than what you were prepared to offer.
Here’s the thing though: and again, I have learned to live with it, but still I want to be honest with you guys and say my peace. Is it piece? Say my piece? That looks right, but what do I know. Sorry, anyway. The thing is: yeah, it’s fun and it’s all in good fun, but it’s not really fun for me. It’s more fun with me or at me, choose your own preposition there, fun at my expense. That’s what I’m saying.
Yeah there’s love and there’s fun and lots of awws, but at the heart of it, it’s kind of mean. I’m not going to use the term bullying or shaming or whatever the current cause célèbre may be. It’s just mean, hurtful and demeaning.
I’m a pug. I know we’re not crushing it at the dog shows. No one is going to cast us as the romantic lead in the big budget movie or the network darling sitcom. But we still matter, we have feelings. And just like our anal sacs, they sometimes need to be expressed.
So I have said my (what did we say? was it piece or peace? fuck it, my) part. Do what you want. I probably will just go on licking myself while you figure things out. Just know I was hurt.
Honestly I kinda love the blanket, and the way you cared so much for me while we took this photo. The warmth with which you held me, that was really nice. Maybe next time just let the moment be ours. Share your 8,000 selfies with your online friends and let me have whatever shred of dignity I can keep. I love you, show me you feel the same. Show me. Just me.
Pugnacious T. Soggybottom
PS: Not now, but let’s talk soon about my name. K?
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