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“I don’t have the Midas touch,” she signed off tonight’s webcast with her usual splendor (and plea for premium members), “so please hit Gold for me. Thank you guys for all the coins and tips tonight. I’m one happy queen. Goodnight! I’m going private now for anyone who wants to watch me get up out of these heels and see how my tootsie rolls. My name is Sissy Fuss… tell your friends, not yo mama.”

The sound of computer-generated clinking filled the air as the glow from her screen faded to the glow of early evening. Sissy unzipped her paillette-trimmed Givenchy, unhooked her bra and slowly undressed. Her regulars have a soft spot for a good creepshot POV, but can also detect BS as quickly as she could spot a knockoff lamé. So she didn’t play it up for the camera.

She massaged the crown of her head and undid her wig. She removed her stocking cap and shook out the short dirty blond locks that had been tucked. Looking at the mirror beyond the webcam, she removed her lush lashes. She wiped clean the eyeliner, rouge and foundation until she was once again Andrzej Zaros.

With a kiss goodbye and a final “big finish” reveal to her fans, Sissy clicked off her computer / Andrzej clicked on his phone, throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt. Grabbing his car keys, he scrolled the NASDAQ to be up on futures for his morning pre-market report. A spot in commodities just opened up at his brokerage firm and it was just the boost he could use after a lackluster Q2.

He pulled up to the drive-thru window and caught a glimpse of the moon through the arches overhead. He grabbed his nuggets, crispy fries and ginger ale. Handing the cashier his AmEx, she took note of his sparkling nail extensions. “Ooooh, I love them!” Andrzej eye-rolled, “But they’re a bitch to get off.”

“Tip Stickers. I buy them in bulk through online beauty supply. They’ve been my savior since I started working here.” Andrzej smiled, “And now, you are mine.” “Aww,” squeed the drive-thru worker, “thanks, that made my night.”

Writer-Artist ✍ Contact: →in New Yorker: Find @ernio_art →on Instagram: License →via

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